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Thursday, June 26, 2014

期待的是什么?

离开日子已经越来越接近了。
本以为是下定决心了但是还是不停的动摇。
每当多一个人知道就动摇一次。
好累哦。
问自己会期待新工作吗?答案只是期待着休闲的日子。不用担忧太多东西的日子。
每当每个叫我留下的都说公司不能没了我。
理智告诉我,没有一家公司会没了谁不能的。
但是还是担心自己的决定会影响到别人。
为什么自己就不能坚决点呢?
每次动摇时都有事发让自己坚决。
菩萨和佛祖都已经很明确了点明了还动摇些什么呢?
真的搞不清自己是期待些什么的。
也很讨厌现在的我。
现在的头脑都卡住了。
小小的事都无法控制脾气了。
小小的事都能气到掉眼泪。
小小的事都能看的不顺眼。
只好安抚自己就快要结束了。
往后的日子都不必为这些问题而烦恼了。

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

宝贝妈咪爱你

今天因为头痛就上半天工回家休息。
太痛了所以回到家就睡了。
最近便头越来越严重。
疼的都无法想东西。
好辛苦。
幸亏董事的Kimi知道妈咪的苦,静悄悄的躺在妈咪身边直到妈咪觉醒才发现它在身边陪伴妈咪。
感谢宝贝让妈咪不孤单的。
妈咪爱你!

Monday, June 9, 2014

A day to remember 25.5.14

This was indeed will be a painful day to be remembered. A day when I lost a good friend of mine.
She is an ex-colleague of mine back in Interscience.
Young girl fresh graduate from UTM. An image she gave me when she join Interscience: A Malay girl for a sales job? This not going to last long. 
But she prove it wrong. All wrong....she in such small body feature, soft spoken lady had her own way to do sales. so different from the image of Malay I had. She indeed changed my perception on Malay culture.
Back in Interscience. I'm not sensitive on the different culture in the company or even the group.
Back then the Chinese only mix with Chinese while the minority like Indian and Malay will be in their own group.
Somehow when she was assigned to cover East Coast as me, we had become travel partner to East Coast.
That's how we build our relationship. Gossip all the way to East Coast and chat all the journey.
Sleep in same room and eat together. 
She get married on 20  , and she got pregnant on the following years.
She had her first miscarriage on 2010, the year I had left Interscience. Heard that PCC was never kind to her and keep mentioning about her miscarriage case and left her keep reminded on her wound.
So on that year, after I heard about her torture by insensitive PCC, I decided talk to management of Gaia to offer her a job in Gaia since we need more people to expand the market, she joined.
After joined for more than half a year, she got pregnant again.
Indeed it is joy for us as she had overcome it and decided to try it again.
Glad she make it. But the mighty god still want to test her strength, unfortunately, when she is heavy pregnant at 9 months, she lost her baby again. The baby died just a week due to born.
Then she again have to gone through the lost of child. So sad for her, when just about due to born, it is hard to us definitely is hard for her too.
Then she come back strong too with everyone else try not to ask but she did share with me.
Just less than a year, she was again diagnosed with lymphoma.
She fight with it and manage to get healthy again and get pregnant for the third time. It is really happy which this significantly prove that she is healthy again. 
But just after she delivered her baby, she is diagnosed with relapse and undergone chemo. We manage to visit her after her first chemo. Just last year. It shocked me to see her condition. She even asked me not to shed any tears for her. Such a strong lady. 
We chat and talk about her boy. I hold her hand while talking. I just fear that I will lost her. 
After the visit we kept in touch through FB message. We chat a lot when I got the offer from the supplier company. How she support me a lot when I told her I'm depressed with work. While she still fighting hard but she still encourage me by asking me to stay positive.
We had make promise to each other to have a friendship anniversary celebration after knowing each other for 8 years. Just a month later after no news from her in message, she had left us to the heaven.
After all the long fight she had, she deserve a well rest now my dear friend. 
I will always miss you my dear. So sorry that we can fulfill the promise we had made for each other.
I'm thankful that you had been part of my best memories in me. You will be always loved and miss by me. 
 
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