My Typical Asian Boss

The true colour of my typical Asian Boss:

1. You have to work even you are admitted to hospital.
2. You have to work even you are on MC.
3. You have to work as long as you brain and hand is functioning.
4. Company paid you to work and you have to 24/7
5. Unless you can't move, even with diarrheas, you can bring your laptop to work in toilet while you are having diarrheas.
6. You are paid by company, your time even personal and after work hour is paid by company too.

That is my Asian boss. 

I am going to change the boss with endurance of another year.

Here is just my stepping stone. 

My job

Another 3 months left before I marked a year anniversary in this job.

I'm still adjusting the life and adapting to this job. Not easy to travel around for 50% of my work time.

Things I appreciate most with this job are:
1. I get to the countries I never visited before. (But not for sightseeing)
2. I am given opportunity to visit others countries university, lab and industry
3. I am given chance to see other countries culture.
4. I tried others countries well developed public transportation.
5. I tried others countries local speciality and food.
6. I learnt to tried any kind of food that I may not like or dare to try before.  E.g : stink tofu, beef etc.
7. I met new people
8. I listened to others countries political issues
9. I experienced every new thing when I travel.

I just felt great for the experience I had with this job.
Every trip made full of excitement and stress too.
I'm grateful with this opportunity granted for me.

I would not say I like this job but I like the experience awaiting me whenever I travel.

八月结束了!

今年的八月过得因该可以说是'多姿多彩'的。
八月开始换新工作就是非连片。
该说自己把自己圈如是非话题。
就因为自己的决定就把自己变成是非主角了。 (>_<)
爱低调的我突然变成行家的话题也让自己变得不自在。 「(°ヘ°)
我不爱做红人。 (︶︹︺)
无论是好的或坏的我就是不想被人当成话题。 （＞﹏＜）
也不晓得会被提到何时。。。。
今年也是第二次在自己的生日那天没的请假而要上班。
而是去了旧公司的新加坡和印尼的分行。
而外收获就在check in counter时亚航的工作人员竟然发现了我的生日日期还祝我生日快乐。 (∩_∩)
今年的生日过得好平淡。没有特别的庆祝。只是忙着就过了。答应自己明年的生日要去yoga retreat来宠自己。
蛋糕也切了一个而已。还是切的很不开心。
旧老板早一个星期就约好庆祝生日,答应了他一起吃饭庆祝就好。
想都没想过竟然要求我早点下班回到旧公司和旧同事一起切蛋糕。
我的天呀!为什么他可以那么天真到如此?! ⊙﹏⊙
他的好心又让我圈如是非之地。
我令原他一个一起吃饭好过逼些不是很乐意祝我生日的人一起庆祝生日。 (~_~;)
就这样,唯一切的生日蛋糕成为了我往后给人拿来讲的话题了。
看来我因该还是会有段时间变成人家口中的话题。
无论如何换了工也换了环境。
在旧公司里的身份也不同了。
在新公司里也感到不自在因为已经习惯去照顾同事突然在这被人照顾。感觉很不自在的和好像很无力的。
无论如何都好,请求菩萨祝福我能够越战越勇。无论面对什么挑战,我都能够应付的来。
要好好加油吧! (∩_∩)

开工了！

说长不长，说短不短的假期就此结束了。
要做的也做的七七八八了。
当然还有做不完的事。还是满足的。
在八月一号开工了。
怪怪的就是没有期待的感觉或兴奋的感觉来上班。
是年纪大了吧？
还是换了很多次工所以没有感觉了？
还是都认识新公司里的人？
还是依依不舍久公司呢？
总之就是没有那感觉上新公司啦！
还是告诉自己focus新生活啦！
别再一直回头看过去啦！
尽然都决定了就要往前看了。
好好准备自己面对新挑战。
在自己生日的月份就再次有个全新跟好的自己吧！

好！秀秀自己的新工作岗位！

离开了

已经离开了公司第三天。从星期五晚开始哭了3个晚上。 还是在旅行的过程里都还想念着。 到底是什么原因呢? 原本以为离开了会开心的也会放心。 可是这两个感觉都没有。 心还是依依不舍的挂念在公司里的每一位同事。 尤其是那班小的。 总觉得对不起他们。 很不明白自己的情绪。 也难过老板要自己度过所有的挑战。 丢下他还以为是个报复的。 但还觉得亏欠了大家? 心还是依然留在那而。 Line message响时多希望是Gaia group chat但是已经离队了。 再次提醒自己是我想要的。 心理很希望着一切都是这五年来的习惯。 想好好开始自己的新生活和工作。 但是也没有很盼望新的发展。 还是逗留在Gaia里的生活和工作。 每一天都求佛祖点明弟子是否做对了选择。 问佛祖为何自己会那么心痛和不舍。 为什么问菩萨时,菩萨总是叫我离开。 离开了总不觉得快乐。 太多的为什么。 每次老板求留下,说该公司很需要我时我都是动摇的很想留下。 但是还是拒绝了。 看到最后一天大家都伤心的抱着哭,让我都觉得有罪恶感。我让很多人都伤心了。 佛祖,请问您能够尽快的点明弟子吗? 如果弟子我还没有准备好的话,就让弟子尽快准备好来面对该面对的吧。 希望弟子我不是为了权利而依依不舍那件公司吧。 希望佛祖您能够让弟子跟加勇敢的面对自己要走的路。 让弟子能够比现在的我跟好跟勇敢。 虽然弟子真的很想知道为何会发生此事,希望佛祖您能够指引弟子。

Another reading, another sign?

Get another reading in Pulsed.
Damn...maybe Lord Buddha still knew I'm still uncertain with my decision.
Hence, He showed me with this article again:

According to science, we often hurt ourselves when we fail to forgive others. The personal danger comes in the form of remaining attached to negative, often pride-based, emotions that destroy us from inside. The same psychology of detachment may be applicable to our letting go of pet projects, businesses and even people: to the extent our emotions take over and cloud our judgment of what's best.

Entrepreneurs, in particular, have trouble letting go. George Zimmer, for example, was recently ousted as the Executive Chairman of Men’s Warehouse—the company he founded and ran for 40 years—because he was seemingly unable to modernize his vision and follow that of others. The end result was a loss to both Zimmer and his company. Men’s Warehouse no longer enjoys the charismatic leader that once drove its performance while Zimmer no longer enjoys making his company a standout in a dying industry.

Such episodes are tragic but unnecessary and they don’t have to happen to you. While it’s up to individual circumstance to determine exactly when to let go, how to let go can be mastered merely by adhering to a few simple “laws”:

Law Number 1. You are not God. Your spouse (or especially, ex-spouse) probably reminds you of this daily. Lest you forget, however, remember that even superstar CEOs like Steve Jobs could not see, nor could they prevent, their untimely departure. You have no more control, guidance or understanding of the future than anyone else—even if you’re somewhat deft at handling the uncertainty. Nonetheless, if you step back a bit and let others help in the decision-making, that deftness can be transformed into real power that can benefit your business.

Law Number 2. Let the past remain in the past. The work you’ve done was good, perhaps even great, but it’s irrelevant to determining where things will go next. Retreating to past accomplishments, especially to justify an antiquated strategic plan, is little more than a cognitive, hindsight bias. It is fundamentally connected to an insecurity that your best days are behind you and leads you to imagining you had more courage, more foresight and better knowledge in the past than you really had. Such a ‘rear-view-mirror’ approach only shackles everyone else (including you) to a reality that may only exist in your head. Shun this thinking completely. Imagine instead that every day on the job is your first one and that you must generate fresh ideas. Of course, bring your experience to the table, but don’t use it as a blueprint for strategy. Heed this law and you will be liberated.

Law Number 3. Never confuse delegating responsibility with ceding control.Delegating responsibility helps you tackle an oppressive workload. It means sharing the driving, sailing or flying with someone else: with them as a first officer and you as the pilot. Ceding control, however, involves submitting your decision-making power to someone with a different perspective and perhaps even better information. Ceding control means having a co-pilot.

Law Number 4. Choose co-pilots wisely. Somewhat ironically, George Zimmer hired many of the people who later fired him. That might seem unwise on the surface; however, it attests to Zimmer’s foresight in choosing co-pilots who knew when to change course without fear of him. In the ideal situation you would obviously keep your job, but that’s all the more reason to choose people that can help you adapt and let go in the right places. Then, listen to those people.

Law Number 5. Don’t be an information liability. My father used to say that if you’re ignorant, you’re a liability. I believe that to this day. So often, however, I encounter executives whose heads are filled with historical knowledge and views that scarcely allow new information room to enter their minds. Cognitively, they anchor themselves to what they know best—the old knowledge—and dismiss what’s new. They’re liabilities. Don't follow their lead. Be open to new ideas and become an asset.

Law Number 6. Let others love your business. Many founders or long-standing CEOs believe that only they can have a deep love for their businesses—but that’s a fallacy. Once people commit themselves and their careers to a company, they’re vested, and they can likely care more about those enterprises than their bosses and founders who, enjoying success, look forward to riding off into the sunset. Capitalize on this. Internalize Law Number 4 and cede control to committed people who will love the same company you love.

Law Number 7. Your business is not successful if it dies with you. I saved the most fundamentallaw for last. This is just a fact of life and business. If what you build here turns to dust when you’re gone, you've really built nothing at all. Thus, your every effort should be to create self-maintaining structures run by people that know how to make them succeed without you. That, in truth, is the essence, if not the very definition, of letting go.

Though being plead for keep on in the company. I just felt empathy on my boss for the trouble that I'll left behind to him to shoulder alone. We had been working closely before. But now it will be him alone. But think further, who will show empathy on me then? Where can I go to if I'm down? Sometime, too compassionate only cause me indecisive. I wish I can be more selfish and cruel. Think of myself now!  

期待的是什么?

离开日子已经越来越接近了。
本以为是下定决心了但是还是不停的动摇。
每当多一个人知道就动摇一次。
好累哦。
问自己会期待新工作吗?答案只是期待着休闲的日子。不用担忧太多东西的日子。
每当每个叫我留下的都说公司不能没了我。
理智告诉我,没有一家公司会没了谁不能的。
但是还是担心自己的决定会影响到别人。
为什么自己就不能坚决点呢?
每次动摇时都有事发让自己坚决。
菩萨和佛祖都已经很明确了点明了还动摇些什么呢?
真的搞不清自己是期待些什么的。
也很讨厌现在的我。
现在的头脑都卡住了。
小小的事都无法控制脾气了。
小小的事都能气到掉眼泪。
小小的事都能看的不顺眼。
只好安抚自己就快要结束了。
往后的日子都不必为这些问题而烦恼了。

A day to remember 25.5.14

This was indeed will be a painful day to be remembered. A day when I lost a good friend of mine.

She is an ex-colleague of mine back in Interscience.

Young girl fresh graduate from UTM. An image she gave me when she join Interscience: A Malay girl for a sales job? This not going to last long. 

But she prove it wrong. All wrong....she in such small body feature, soft spoken lady had her own way to do sales. so different from the image of Malay I had. She indeed changed my perception on Malay culture.

Back in Interscience. I'm not sensitive on the different culture in the company or even the group.

Back then the Chinese only mix with Chinese while the minority like Indian and Malay will be in their own group.

Somehow when she was assigned to cover East Coast as me, we had become travel partner to East Coast.

That's how we build our relationship. Gossip all the way to East Coast and chat all the journey.

Sleep in same room and eat together. 

She get married on 20  , and she got pregnant on the following years.

She had her first miscarriage on 2010, the year I had left Interscience. Heard that PCC was never kind to her and keep mentioning about her miscarriage case and left her keep reminded on her wound.

So on that year, after I heard about her torture by insensitive PCC, I decided talk to management of Gaia to offer her a job in Gaia since we need more people to expand the market, she joined.

After joined for more than half a year, she got pregnant again.

Indeed it is joy for us as she had overcome it and decided to try it again.

Glad she make it. But the mighty god still want to test her strength, unfortunately, when she is heavy pregnant at 9 months, she lost her baby again. The baby died just a week due to born.

Then she again have to gone through the lost of child. So sad for her, when just about due to born, it is hard to us definitely is hard for her too.

Then she come back strong too with everyone else try not to ask but she did share with me.

Just less than a year, she was again diagnosed with lymphoma.

She fight with it and manage to get healthy again and get pregnant for the third time. It is really happy which this significantly prove that she is healthy again. 

But just after she delivered her baby, she is diagnosed with relapse and undergone chemo. We manage to visit her after her first chemo. Just last year. It shocked me to see her condition. She even asked me not to shed any tears for her. Such a strong lady. 

We chat and talk about her boy. I hold her hand while talking. I just fear that I will lost her. 

After the visit we kept in touch through FB message. We chat a lot when I got the offer from the supplier company. How she support me a lot when I told her I'm depressed with work. While she still fighting hard but she still encourage me by asking me to stay positive.

We had make promise to each other to have a friendship anniversary celebration after knowing each other for 8 years. Just a month later after no news from her in message, she had left us to the heaven.

After all the long fight she had, she deserve a well rest now my dear friend. 

I will always miss you my dear. So sorry that we can fulfill the promise we had made for each other.

I'm thankful that you had been part of my best memories in me. You will be always loved and miss by me. 

It's time to let go

Though still fighting with the emotion and rational.
Yup...non stop battling between this two since the day decision made... :(
Out of sudden saw another article titled "20 signs it's Time to Let Go".
After reading it, to my shock, I really score high for the signs.
Damn...then my emotion shouldn't win over. Below is the article to share

20 Signs It's Time To Let Go And Move On

1. When your thoughts go to memories more than the present.

2. When the situation causes you more pain than joy.

3. When you expect, hope and plead for the person, place or situation to change.

4. When you become complacent, bored or resentful.

5. When the pattern persists even though you tried to fix it.

6. When you feel alone, unheard or disrespected.

7. When the situation is holding you back from growing and being who you want to be.

8. When you stay, hoping and expecting things to get better.

9. When you cry more than you laugh and love.

10. When you feel exhausted emotionally, spiritualty and physically.

11. When you have lost your passion and joy.

12. When you core beliefs and values have changed and you sacrifice who you are.

13. When you stop having fun.

14. When you fear this is the best it will be.

15. When you force a smile to mask the pain.

16. When you lose who you are and stop dreaming.

17. When you hold on out of fear of the unknown.

18. When you sense you are holding onto something meant to be let go.

19. When the thought of being free of the situation feels expansive.

20. When you believe in a better life for yourself.

All the highlight points is what I having at the moment. Gosh....out of 20, I score 19.
Though been talking with best friends and  family on my current situation, the conclusion they had for my situation are it's is still all about them and there is no about me.
I thought I had been selfish enough to make the resignation happened. But still I still got attached here due to the reason I'm dignify to care about the company and the people in the company.
Dignify? Did I? Questioning myself a lot lately on my own character which they had bring up when trying to persuade me to stay. Sigh...after saw this article, should I convince myself this is the sign given by Lord Buddha to me?
It had been the second signs?
Oh Lord Buddha, please send me clear sign. Please forgive the stupid me in getting your sign. Please help enlightened me.

The battle of EMOTIONS and RATIONAL

This is the hardest battle of own self ever.
Thought rational had won over emotion but actually the battle yet ended. It just subsided for awhile.
The chat is never ending. Keep asking to stay. Though had remind myself those are only sweet talks to make you stay but the feeling said it is sincere.
This really killing me. I know the changes will took long if I stay. Can I endure with it while waiting the days come.
I had my answer but the emotion just went haywire. It split me apart. Just felt so torn.
With unknown root cause or reason, I am clueless for what I'm looking for. While the thought of rational winning over the battle but why the emotion still so much affected? Why still feel so attached? Why can't I just be cruel and determine with the decision?
Can Buddha please show me the road of clarity? Please guide me to a correct path.  Please let me get stronger for this battle.

最接近我心声

最近开了Linkedin 户口。哪里很多professional 职业。
也有很多专业作文。今天看了这一片很接近我的心声的：
接近的就是那个"guilt feel"

When it's 'Safe' to Say, "Hey, Boss, I'm Looking!"

At what point during her job search do you suppose Marissa Mayer, the current CEO of Yahoo, advised her boss at Google that she was “looking”? (The answer to this question, which may very well surprise you, is at the end of this blog.)

The truth of the matter is, if you are like most people, you are happy in your jobmost of the time. That does not alter the fact, however, that there are also times when you may honestly wonder if you’re not overlooking other genuine career opportunities outside your current company. You may begin to feel that you might just be “settling” for what you now have in your current job and be leaving money and career advancement opportunities “on the table.” That’s when you are most likely to . . .

• Occasionally visit indeed.com and similar online sites to see what may be available “out there.”
• Set up “saved searches,” so that the right career opportunities start being emailed to you.
• Update your LinkedIn profile.
• Begin receiving (and taking!) calls from “headhunters.”

All simply to “test the waters,” of course.

And, since you are already “flirting” with the job market, you may decide to go on a few “dates,” too, i.e., job interviews.

Again, though, simply to “test the waters.”

But what happens if these “dates” (interviews) begin to strongly suggest that, as you somewhat suspected, you may indeed be overlooking some genuine opportunities to advance your career? Well, the adrenaline can start pumping, suddenly a new-found sense ofexcitement can kick in, you start to get “butterflies” in your stomach, your heart beats just a little bit faster. . . and soon thereafter here they come . . .

The old GUILT feelings!

Dealing with the ‘Guilt’ Feelings

Why am I doing this? you ask yourself. Then, in answer to your own question, you’re quite likely to come up with answers such as these:

• Because I am not totally happy with my current job, or at least not as happy as I know I should be.
• I know for a fact that I am not being paid what I am worth.
• Will I ever receive a promotion, or am I destined to remain at basically the same level throughout my career with this company—no matter what I accomplish or how well I perform?
• Why won’t my boss trust me with more responsibility and authority?

Still, the guilt feelings persist.

In order to alleviate these guilt feelings, you decide that the best thing to do at this point is to “come clean” with your boss. After all, you do have a good relationship with her—actually, avery good relationship with her—right? She told you during your last performance review that she genuinely cared about you and wanted only the best for you and your family, didn’t she? Certainly, the boss will want to do what’s right for you, right? Maybe, after you “cleanse your soul,” by telling her you’re “looking,” you might actually end up getting a nice raise, perhaps even a promotion, right?

Wrong!

Two Reasons ‘Cleansing Your Soul’ with Your Boss is NOT a Good Idea

Here are at least TWO reasons why your reasoning is very wrong and filled with significantrisks to your career:

• First, how can you tell, for sure, that you do indeed have a “good” relationship with your boss? What if you guess wrong about the true nature of the relationship you have with her? What if you think you have a good—even GREAT!—relationship with her but she would beg to differ, if asked? Or, what if you do indeed currently have a “good relationship” with her but it quickly “sours” once you’ve told her of your “indiscretions”?
• Second, an employment relationship is not like a marriage contract or any other type of binding, legal contract or arrangement. Nonetheless, many people continue to view it as such. The fact of the matter is, almost all employment arrangements today are what’s known as “at will” arrangements. That means that, like political appointees, an employee “serves” at the “pleasure” of the company. If and when it is no longer your employer’s “pleasure” to keep you, you will be gone, gone, gone. Still, many want to believe that their co-workers (and yes, sometimes, even their boss) are true “friends,” their “family-in-residence,” as it were, but that really isn’t true at all.

If you currently find yourself facing a career dilemma such as the one described in this blog, I suggest that you STOP and ask yourself these questions:

• “If I stay where I am for the rest of my career, am I okay with that?”
• “Has my ‘story’ at my current job been completely written yet?
• “If I were unemployed and had a chance to interview for my current job, would I do it?”
• “Money aside, do I really love this job?”

If your answers to these questions is a resounding “yes,” then stop looking NOW . . . get control over the urge to “confess” and get back to work!

Risks Inherent in Confessing Your Career ‘Affair’ or ‘Indiscretion’

On the other hand, if your answers to these questions are even qualified “no’s,” then the only question becomes whether or not to “confess.” The short answer is: Don’t even think about it unless you want your career to tank at your current company! If you choose to ignore this advice, here is what, at a minimum, awaits you for as long as you remain with your current employer:

• Don’t expect to any longer be seriously considered for any promotions that may come up.
• If you get a salary increase, it will be miniscule at best.
• Don’t expect to any longer even be considered for involvement in any long-term, high-profile company projects.
• Expect your professional brand to be quickly and irretrievably “tarnished,” and expect it to grow even more “tarnished” the longer you stay with the company.
• Anticipate that the “great relationship” you thought you had with your current boss will soon head south.

Do you still believe, then, that “coming clean” with the boss if you are “looking” is a good idea? I hope not. Don’t make the mistake so many excellent candidates tend to make by telling your boss you’re “looking.” There is absolutely no way whatsoever that this can ever be to your benefit or advantage.

Rather, take a cue from Yahoo CEO, Marissa Mayer. This savvy young executive demonstrated that she definitely knows how the hiring “game” is played. She also showed that she is an expert player at the game. The “advance warning” she gave her boss at Google that she was “looking”—exactly 30 minutes before she left!

还是复杂的

虽然已经做了决定但是还是很复杂的情绪。
以为很肯定的向钱看了。但丢信那时还是会痛的。 (´･_･`)
谈起来还是会落泪的。 (ㄒoㄒ)
毕竟在这里已经四年了。
从四个人开始到如今已有二十多个人了。
从乱七八糟的到如今总算稳定了。
从天天大吵大闹到如今都可以天天听到笑声。
也看到自己在这的成长。
四年在这里,有过美好的回忆也有过最伤心的。让自己学会了人生道理。看清自己的能力也看到自己有不少的弱点。
总满足不了别人和自己。越来越没有成就感。也越来越少奋斗精神。也感觉越来越耐久因为无法再付出百分百。
感觉好像被困着。无法呼吸。天天都很紧张。天天都在催眠自己改变想法。要对这些二十多个人交代做好本分。
逼自己做不喜欢的就因为我要对的起他们。逼自己读些没有兴趣的就因为我要对他们负责任。
一切都为了他们把自己逼得紧紧让自己可以当上个好榜样。
一切都好累了。已经没精力去再逼自己了。
就算自己被列为是个失败者或是个半途而废的弱者,已毫无相关了。已经不重要了。
我要的是自己的。别在为任何人了。
It's all about me now.
自私也好都清楚最候的路是家人的陪伴。
请原谅我的自私的想法。
战斗了好几个月,终于胜利的是自私的想法。
对不起不能伟大的继续下去了。

机会来了？

自从跟这家公司打拼，也从没想过还会有人挖角了。

也没有想过还能让外国公司看上挖角！

从入行到至今，能够当上厂家的员工都是这行最顶的。

当然心动了。除了是厂家的员工还有能跑海外。

还有人工都会高点啦！

来的太突然了。

考虑了几个晚上，和自己的理智和感觉挣扎了。

终于选上了理智。当然当理智赢了，也是决定是自私的。

虽然一切都还没确实。

我是很想得到这个机会的。

You are strong cause you had went through the worst

无法否认的确我经过跟糟糕的。
但也不能把我当着是无敌的。
虽然我成功度过了不代表我能度过每一个难题。
我也需要个依靠。
我也想要软弱。
请不要再把我当是个女超人了。
是很环境逼我不得不坚强的。
我是没的选。
可以的话,我也想做个小女人就好了。
不用把一切的责任自己擋。
偶尔可以躺在一个人的怀抱里哭泣诉苦着每一天的烦恼。
我的坚强是环境所逼得。

18.10.13 伤心的一天

下个星期三要出差去新山，原本还想开开心心的约一位好久不见的朋友。
怎知道变了一个伤心的约会。
她是Puteri。从旧公司就认识了。也是我在旧公司常一起出波的朋友。
一位娇小玲珑的马来同胞。说起声来非常温柔。
也跟一般的马来同胞都不一样，勤劳又开通，也很强。
她在两年前得了血癌。也很庆幸的度过了那关。还没发现血癌之前也miscarriage了两次。
她从来没放弃过。一只的fight下去。也成功的赢过了血癌。也在今年的马来新年前成功生下了一个健健康康的孩子。还把喜事告诉了我。原本答应了在马来新年时会拜访她但是因为那段时间发生了很多事也在马来新年时病倒了，也无法把承诺实现。想起来真的很后悔。
在星期五早上在FB msg 了她告诉她我会下JB， 想约她吃午饭见个面。
万万都没想过她尽然跟我道歉。我以为她要照顾孩子所以无法见面。
当她告诉我她的病又再发我真的无法接受。还要告诉我她刚刚做完chemo。
当场泪都掉了。应为很清楚的知道血癌是最可怕的癌。血癌散发的很快加上她是淋巴癌。她能度过一次真的很谢天谢地了。
再复发等于危险性跟加高。也做了chemo，一切都不是很乐观。
很伤心听到这个消息。我也问了她放不方便去拜访她。
她回答没问题，但是要我答应她不能见到她就哭。她还告诉我要有心里准备因为她现在很瘦。我也没想那么多的就答应她了。
那样就约了另外个同事一起去见她。
见到她时，心都快掉下来了。她不止是瘦简直是皮包骨啊！
强忍着泪水对她微笑。紧紧的握着她的手不肯放。
心里一直在求菩萨要保佑她度过这难关。
也问了老天爷为何要对这个那么弱小的小女孩那么 残酷。Miscarriage了，还要来个血癌。当一切都以为快要回复正常了，病又再复发。
老天爷，请您不要再考验她了。 还她一个健康的生活吧。让她可以健健康康的看着她那幼小的孩子长大吧。
这个眼泪真的好难忍啊！不可以在她面前哭。要保持乐观。不可以影响她的情绪。
也感到很庆幸的她还是一样的坚强。也还一样的乐观。从来不放弃。
还是个fighter。
我们一起聊了一小时。聊工作，聊往事和聊孩子。什么都聊个够。
她孩子起来了就让给我们包，还一起拍照。
她告诉我们她只有顾她的孩子一个月而已。到现在为止都没力气来包和喂她的孩子。
听了都好心酸啊。那个父母不想包着自己的孩子呢？！
在心里都告诉自己，我一定要常常来看她而给她打气和鼓励！
也要天天为她祈福。求求菩萨能够祝福她度过这关！

同事和Puteri的孩子

好像爸爸一样帅！

当她健康好了选择跟老公去JB发展

离开过后也健康的她。和很爱她的老公一起。

健康过后和她一起合照。希望也能够会有跟多的合照。

I had a great fall!

回到公司应该是要五点了。
同事: Tung 说他不得空用这张coupon. 你的空用吗?
我: 可以啊!你们几时去滑冰呢?
同时:我们等下就去了。约好了六点。
我: 什么?!今天?!
同事:你不得空吗?
我:不是不得空。是今天我穿裙子啊。怎样滑呢?
最候还是去了。
回家换了衣服就去Sunway Pyramid. 因为叫同事拿coupon还没有到,所以就看着另一个已经到的同事在滑冰。 当然她一直靠墙边滑。 不够五分钟竟然看着她滑倒。我第一个反应是笑啦,然候觉得自己很坏。还有觉得同事很可怜因为没有人帮她站起来。
好可怜啊!
另外个同事到时就赶紧叫他快点进场啦!
进到去的第一个感觉就是害怕!
害怕滑倒。也一直靠墙边滑。
滑了两圈就试试不靠墙了。
哪知道就跌倒了。
好痛哦!
同事也一起大笑了。
哈哈,好好笑哦!
可是感觉还不错啊!好好玩。
最候一次滑冰是十八岁时。
还是一位要追我的男生带我去的。
的确滑冰场是最好开始一个恋情的地方吖!
记得那时都不敢滑。因为怕跌倒出丑。
这一轮,滑了几圈也跌了四轮终于可以平衡了。
所以这次滑的超爽快的。
觉得自己又挑战自己了。
也明白滑冰是可以自己学的。不一定要有男生教。虽然这样可以跟浪漫。以其依赖别人不如靠自己。
很有满足感哦!有时间的话,一定还会再去练习。
滑冰也像人生将,无论你跌了多少次一定要勇敢的站起来。从新来过。
放弃的话,就永远滑不到了。
虽然屁股因为跌了四轮痛了好几天,可是那份满足感还是很强的。
可能也老了,无论跌了多少次都不觉得自己很丑。哈哈哈哈哈。。。。。脸皮越老越厚了吧!

失去了平衡点

已经在工作上失去了平衡点。

在这件事发生过后已经失去了。

最近都很努力的在平衡自己。

这件事过后都无法平衡了。

很复杂，很头疼。

这样的付出值得吗？

会被珍惜吗？

为何都觉得能做的人就拼命的让他们去做。

而会退的人就可以逃避不用做。

很生气。

很不公平。

该被逼的那些人偏偏不去逼。

反而已经逼到镜头了还去逼。

对老板吐完不满能怎样？

会有改变吗？

会有行动吗？

信丢了，尽然不接受。

还说不够人手所以还需要帮忙。

难道够人了，就不需要了？

原来也是一句，因为你能干所以必须做下去。

很讨厌！

我也要学会推那样也不用搞到自己那么辛苦。

Slept in 3 States in 4 days

Tired! That's all I can said.
Non stop travelling had start been part of my life.
I'm getting tired of this.
3 States in 4 days. I had break my own record! （。_°☆＼(- – )
What to do?My boss told me because you are leader, you got no choice. ⊙▂⊙
I'm fed up with the reason too.
I didn't choose to be leader. You all put me to.
Damn. Really pissed off with the reason.
Not that I don't like the company but is just that I'm getting tired. (´～`)
Maybe I'm getting near to my dream. I had backed up plan. Guess that's why I start to complain about my work.
I'm really tired of travelling. Tired with the responsibility they gave me.
I want to let them know I'm not superwoman. And I don't wish to be their superwoman. 囧rz
But I still need the pay they pay me.
I still have to do what they want me to.
Sigh......... no choice for this moment. As the time yet arrive. ヘ(_ _ヘ)

人

人是神给的最想神的Living.
有思想，可以思考。
往往人也是最复杂的。
因为有思想和思考所以变得复杂。
以为人跟人都一样所以都能了解彼此， 那是错的想法。
每个人都有不同的想法和思考。
每个人都是自私的和贪心的，所以每个人都会有不同的要求。
公司里发生了很多事。
原来不是每个人都能明白那个概念。
应该还年轻吧？
还是还没有见过跟坏的？
自己也不太了解。
给自己的时间在这边也剩不多。
如果在限期内还没办法把任务完成，都该放下了。
不是每个人都当得起这个任务的。
就只好接受自己是不能干的咯。
看到他们写的blog，写的内容很想自己在旧公司的心情。
是有点感到打击咯。因为他们没办法相信所谓的概念，也证明了失败了。
嗨。。。有点累了。
也不能怪他们。因为的确人是先为自己先想的。
是不是真的不公平？我不知道。但是我相信那个被答应的未来所以才觉得无所谓。
虽然现在有后路了，也不希望就这样放弃公司。
我也很自私的，因为后路还不稳定。
还是需要织金的。
也有想过要找个跟加多钱的工的，可是又觉得太对不起老板了。
做了十年功比跟弟弟做五年功的薪水才相差不远。
嗨。。。只因为相信那概念。
会不会成功只靠自己咯。
想啊想，自己也是自私的咯。
因为后路成功了，也不想再留在公司了。
因为生活在超忙碌的生活，实在太累了。

+++++正能量+++++

今天事发让我失去了正能量。还刚刚写封Email给老板发泄在他那。应该受委屈受到傻了。
也不懂怎么高的，最近都遇到这种事。难道送错讯息了吗？
总之搞到我一肚火，气得要找地方发泄。
再不释放真的会发疯。
也不想发脾气，看来又要meditate。真是的，好不容易把自己充满正能量尽然在这里失去了。>.<